


Hiding Beneath the Hat

by fi3fi3



Series: Elf with an Earring [1]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Discussions of sex, Elf Sportacus (LazyTown), Episode: s01e06 Swiped Sweets, Episode: s01e24 Sportacus Who?, M/M, Sensitive Elf Ears, Sportacus is kinky ok, discussions of sugar meltdown, mentions of the kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:36:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25732219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fi3fi3/pseuds/fi3fi3
Summary: Sportacus wears a hat to hide his ears, but not for the reason Robbie assumes. When the villain's latest scheme allows him to peak underneath, he is delighted about what he finds.
Relationships: Robbie Rotten/Sportacus
Series: Elf with an Earring [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1866538
Comments: 10
Kudos: 110





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated 12/08/2020 to fix some formatting errors.

Robbie Rotten, the number one villain of Lazytown, strode around his lair gesturing wildly, the cavernous space echoing with the sound of his latest villainous monologue.

"I have done it! I have discovered the most amazing secret!"

"Those BRATS are too stupid to have noticed but I, Robbie Rotten, am a very handsome genius villain and I have worked out the truth!"

He wiggled his fingertips conspiratorially, lowering his voice to emphasise the drama of the moment.

"Sportaflop…" he paused, checking around for eavesdroppers, "is an elf! A flippity flippity beeepbeepbeeeeep annoying jumping ELF!"

Robbie jumped around, waving his arms around in an imitation of the hero's signature move before collapsing into his fluffy armchair.

"This is fantastic! I will tell the BRATS that Sportanuisance is an elf, and then he will be so embarrassed that he will leave town forever! And then everyone will be lazy again in Lazytown!"

Robbie smiled to himself, the thought of a Sportaless peace and quiet was very appealing. Nevermind that he'd had to spend longer than he'd care to admit watching the blue kangaroo through his periscope in order to work out his secret. But the facts don't lie. Most of those superhero moves were just not physically possible - for a human. And sure, elves were rarely seen and notoriously secretive but that wasn't to say it was impossible for an elf to interact with humans as much as Sportacus did.

Robbie grinned. Until the humans found out of course! "Once I reveal his secret they will surely chase him out of town for being a freaky deaky sneaky elf!"

"But wait!" Robbie slouched as a new thought occurred to him, "They won't listen to me. No one ever listens to ME! My plan will never work." He folded his arms and curled into the chair until his genius brain came up with another idea.

"Aaaah but… what if the kids find out for themselves? Of course! I must make a trap which will show those BRATS that Sportacus is really an elf and then they will make him leave town FOREVER! I am a GENIUS!"

Robbie paced up and down, scratching his chin as his thought. How to make stupid kids recognise an elf..?

"The EARS of course! Elves have silly pointy ears, this is PERFECT! I will create a giant wind machine to blow off Sportacus's hat and then the brats will see his pointy ears and they will make him leave town forever!"

The villain struck a handsome pose and admired himself in the mirror.

"Robbie you've done it again!"

* * *

  
  


The next few days passed uneventfully as Robbie stayed down in his lair perfecting the giant fan he planned to disguise as a new windmill on the edge of town.

Today was a perfect day for a scheme. The kids had organised a badminton tournament which Sportacus was due to attend. A perfectly timed gust of wind from his windmill would be all Robbie would need. He wouldn't even need to put in an appearance personally! No chance of getting caught. No shocked calls of " Robbie Rotten!" from the assembled crowds. No cruel smirk from the hero mocking the poor downtrodden villain who was never allowed to win. This time would be different.

Robbie pushed his periscope up and surveyed the town. In the main square the Mayor seemed to be struggling under the weight of what appeared to be a large net he was trying to stretch between two posts. A large banner bearing the words 'Lazytown Badminton Contest' fluttered gently over the small podium platform which was set up to one side.

It was now or never. 

"It's disguise time!"

  
  
  


By the time Robbie, disguised as a farmer, had dragged his windmill into position on the edge of town, most of the inhabitants of Lazytown had gathered in the town square for the badminton tournament. He leant on the side of the windmill, breathing heavily. 

"I really must start making lighter contraptions!"

Raising his binoculars, Robbie surveyed the scene down below. Mayor Meanswell was standing at the podium presumably making a speech, the pink girl and the other kids were jumping up and down in excitement. Robbie refocused the binoculars, catching a flash of blue. Yes, there he was. Sportaliar himself, standing with his hands on his hips in the way that made his arms bulge slightly. Robbie licked his lips.  
He moved his gaze upward to focus on the hat. Nothing a good stiff breeze shouldn't be able to cope with! Robbie set the binoculars aside and rubbed his hands together with glee.

"Let's get this thing started!"

Robbie flipped open a concealed panel in the side of the windmill, revealing a series of buttons and levers. In the centre was a large dial currently set to 'light breeze'. Pulling on one of the levers brought the machine spluttering to life, lighting up the control panel and creaking the sails of the windmill into motion.

Robbie laughed gleefully.

"Let's see if we can't blow away the competition!"

He reached forward and cranked the dial up a few notches, then raised the binoculars once again. He didn't want to miss a moment of this!

Down in the square things were beginning to go awry. The shuttlecock was being blown out of the court before ever making it over the net and the numbers on Miss Busybody's scoreboard were flapping all over the place. But Sportacus's hat was still firmly covering his ears.

"Pah!" Robbie exclaimed, before turning the windmill up another notch, "Enjoy your last day in Lazytown Sportadork!"

The badminton competition was now in complete disarray. The net had blown over narrowly missing the kleptomaniac boy and now Sportacus was jumping around trying to shepherd the kids safely into the Town Hall to shelter. Robbie had been initially disheartened to see everyone heading indoors, it was integral to his plan that they see what Sportacus was hiding under his hat, but now that a few worried young faces had appeared in the Town Hall window he resumed his scheme with fervour. If Sportacus was the only one left outside he could safely crank this windmill to the max!  
Robbie watched eagerly as Sportacus deposited the last of the children into the Town Hall before pointing up towards him, towards the windmill! This was perfect! Sportadumb was going to try and run directly to the source of the wind. Robbie poised his hand over the dial as Sportacus began his series of flips, waiting for the right moment.

The moment came just as Sportacus vaulted over a wall. Robbie cranked the dial all the way up to the 'hurricane' setting and laughed as his nemesis was caught off guard by the sudden increase in resistance. Sportacus's momentum was stopped suddenly by some invisible force and he dropped, clutching onto the top of the wall to prevent himself being blown away. Robbie could just see his head and arms grasping against the force of the wind.

The point of Sportacus's hat caught the wind like a sail and flapped behind him. Then, in the blink of an eye it was gone. Robbie eagerly trained his binoculars on the windows of the Town Hall anticipating the horror filled expressions of the children. But there were no faces to be seen! Just a hole in the glass, sharp shards raining inwards.

Rats! Robbie hadn't meant to endanger the children. He kicked the emergency off button at the base of the windmill and trained his binoculars towards the hero.

Sportacus jumped down from the wall looking a little dishevelled, crystal flashing urgently on his chest. His hair, Robbie mused, was blond! And longer than he would've expected. The golden waves falling down across his forehead, framing his long pointed ears.  
And that's when Robbie saw it. In the top of Sportacus's left ear was a glint of metal, just a hint of something sparkling in the morning sunshine. The elf… has an earring?! 

And then Sportacus was gone, leaping into a dizzying series of flips and running towards the Town Hall. It wasn't until Sportacus landed the right way up that Robbie noticed his hat was firmly back in place. 

Evil scheme well and truly abandoned, Robbie Rotten slunk back to his lair.

* * *

  
  


"An EARRING?"

Robbie sat, dumbstruck, in his chair clutching a cushion. His mind was racing through all of the research he'd done into elvish culture in order to verify his hunch about the blue kangaroo.  
All of the books had been very clear. Elves were very proud of their ears, some clans going so far as to consider them spiritual symbols. The idea of an elf willingly sticking human metal through their ear was almost inconceivable.  
Robbie kicked his brain to move on from spending too long considering the implications of the word 'willingly' as he felt a strange heaviness begin to squeeze deep inside his chest.

But the fact remained, the tips of an elf's ears were one of the most sensitive parts of their bodies - apparently. Capable of causing very intense sensations of pain or, Robbie gulped ...pleasure.

He jumped up, suddenly feeling a little flushed. 

The glimpse of Sportacus he'd caught through his binoculars, golden curls falling about his face, cheeks flushed from the wind, blue eyes sparkling with just a touch more moisture… lips slightly parted….

He threw his arms up into the air.  
"Gah! Why won't Sportacool- KOOK! get out of my head!?"

The only thing that had changed was that he had seen underneath the golden boy's hat, seen Mr. Perfect Hero and his perfect hero hair. And that tiny metallic flash… 

"That it! It all makes sense!" Robbie began counting off evidence on his long fingers,  
"Sportacus living with humans instead of all the other flippity flip ELVES, his sickening fixation with helping people, the EARRING! There is no other explanation! Sportapunk… is a REBEL!"

Robbie danced a little jig on the spot.

A goody-two-shoes golden boy nerd he would've had to have run out of town, but a daredevil rebellious rule-breaking outcast muscular elf? Now there was someone he could have a crush on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of my favourite episodes - Swiped Sweets!

Sportacus was standing, hand covered in sticky frosting, listening to Robbie accuse him of cake theft. Once again Robbie's unparalleled disguise skills had everyone in the town completely fooled - everyone except Sportacus that is. His elven intuition could always identify who was who, it helped him know who to go to when people were in trouble, but he always played along with Robbie's games for the sake of the children. They really were so lucky to have such a playful, talented villain as Robbie Rotten.

The man in question was inhabiting every inch of his detective character, bamboozling the mayor with long convoluted sentences that didn't make any sense. Sportacus played along, enjoying Robbie's command of the situation, confidently weaving a narrative to achieve his goal. 

He's manipulating them so effortlessly, Sportacus thought to himself, they may as well be puppets! 

Sportacus supposed he should be concerned that the townsfolk could be so easily convinced that he would commit such a heinous crime as cake thievery, especially as his reaction to sugar was well known, but perhaps the audacity of the plan made it all the more admirable.

Sportacus paused his train of thought to listen to the words the Right Honourable Judge Mayor was reading, seemingly from an eye test chart.

"S-port a cuss, is, gui-l-ty… Spotacus is guilty!"

Sportacus rolled his eyes, amused smirk twitching the corners of his mouth.

"And GUILTY boys go to JAIL!" Robbie's voice was almost melodic, ecstatic and bouncing.

"Really?" Sportacus couldn't believe this was actually working. 

How is Robbie going to put me in jail? He thought to himself, blushing slightly at a couple of possibilities that popped into his head… Lazytown doesn't even have a jail! 

He didn't have to wait long to find out. After an attempt to push him bodily failed miserably, Robbie fetched a contraption out of his pocket and assembled what looked to be a pop up metal cage.

Robbie gestured towards it. "Step in my friend!"   
Sportacus shook his head but dutifully stepped inside, taking a seat on the low stool.   
He considers me a friend? Or is he just saying that as part of his character? Wait… is he leaving?

As much as Sportacus intended to regain his freedom later, Robbie seemed to have forgotten something vital. He pushed lightly at the door with his foot.

"Detective? Don't you have to lock the door?

I hope he doesn't think I'm mocking him, Sportacus thought to himself as Robbie froze dramatically and made a big show of returning to affix the padlock. He really has outdone himself this time!

Sportacus watched as Robbie's long fingers twisted the key in the lock, hearing it click shut with a satisfying finality. He knew there was no real danger, that he could pick up the cage or tear through it at anytime, but he found himself increasingly drawn to the idea of being caught in Robbie's traps. They were only pretending after all.

Sportacus's breath hitched in his throat as Robbie leaned in close as he could without actually sticking his head through the bars to whisper to him.

"Right where you belong…" 

Robbie's voice was silky and low and Sportacus couldn't help but lean in a little closer. He brought one hand up to grasp one of the bars, fighting the urge to reach through.   
Robbie's smile was wide, toothy and full of mischief.

"Only very naughty little elves put cute little rings through their ears."

And as suddenly as he had arrived, Robbie was gone. 

Sportacus touched a hand to his hat absentmindedly. Did he just hear that right? Did Robbie know? But how? He hadn't removed his hat since before he had even arrived in Lazytown, not even on his own airship, not even when he slept! 

Sportacus took a deep breath and settled himself in a meditative pose on the floor. He needed to think this one through properly.

It's not as though I'm trying to hide who I am, he mused. I have never lied to the kids about what I can do, or about my crystal. And Robbie is very clever, so he probably just worked it out.

Sportacus smiled, that thought having calmed him. He switched positions, sticking his legs through the bars to stretch out and dropped into some push ups. Exercising always helped him think clearer.

He blushed slightly as he recalled Robbie's hushed words. 'Right where you belong… Only very naughty little elves put cute little rings through their ears.'

So Robbie knows I'm an elf, and he hasn't told anyone yet. That's good! I don't think the kids would mind anyway. Everyone in Lazytown is very nice. So that isn't a problem. What was next? He thinks I belong in a cage…

Sportacus blushed again, now wasn't the time for those kinds of thoughts. He renewed his exercising with gusto.

'Cute little rings through their ears'? It had been years since he'd properly thought about his earring, it was so much a part of him now.

Plus I never remove my hat anymore, he thought. I guess old habits are hard to break.

Sportacus finished his push ups and settled himself back on the tiny stool in the corner of the cage. He looked round to where Robbie had settled himself in a hammock and was busily shovelling cake into his mouth by the fistful as though his life depended on it.

He thinks I'm cute!

Had he not been pretending to be trapped in a cage, Sportacus could've jumped for joy!  
This would certainly make things interesting.

Perhaps if I continue to play along with his schemes and get caught in his traps he will… we will become friends!

Sportacus smiled up at the villain who was now sleeping, scratching himself with a lollipop. Robbie wasn't half cute himself! He couldn't wait to see what Robbie would do next.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't just ignore the implications of Robbie's plan in Sportacus Who?. Even though it is one of my favourite episodes.

Robbie Rotten tumbled down the tube into his lair and picked himself up off the floor with an exasperated sigh. It had been an exhausting day.

His plan to erase Sportacus's memory of himself in the hope that he might find it easier to confess his feelings had backfired and now things were worse than ever!

The elf's words from earlier echoed round his head, tormenting him.

'Even though I have my memory back, we can still be friends!' Robbie groaned.

"With friends like you, who needs friends! WHAT does that even MEAN you idiot!?" Robbie slapped the palm of his hand to his temple. "Now Sportaloser will never be your friend!"   
'Or more than friends…' he added silently.

Just then a knocking sound from above echoed down, followed by a familiar voice.

"Robbie? Are you down there?"

Great. Just what I need.

"Go away!"

"Robbie? It's Sportacus. I just wanted to check you're alright. And… and I wanted to talk to you about something."

Urg. Could this day get any more humiliating? As if landing painfully straddling a tree branch wasn't enough, now the flipping elf is going to come down and taunt me in my own lair. Well fine, it's not like I have the energy to stop him anyway.

Robbie flopped down into his fluffy chair.

"Whatever."

"Thank you Robbie!" The elf's voice filtered down, followed by the unmistakable sounds of someone unnecessarily cartwheeling down a near vertical metal tube. Two blue shoes dropped into view and there he was, Sportaposing in all his glory.

Now that he was here, it occurred to Robbie that Sportacus seemed… nervous.

Pah, let him be the nervous wreck for a change, Robbie resolved, crossing his arms and staring at the intruder with pointed silence. 

Sportacus took a step forward, moustache drooping slightly.

"Robbie, we have to talk. Seriously, as adults." Robbie cocked an eyebrow. 

"Away from the kids I mean." Sportacus continued, taking a deep breath. "Look, Robbie, it's not as though I don't enjoy getting involved in your games with the kids but this one today…. I have to know…"

Sportacus paused. He looked.. almost sad, Robbie thought bitterly. This is it. This is where he tells me he hates me and wants me to leave forever. The irony won't be lost on me Sportaheartbreaker, don't you worry.

"The memory loss… was it supposed to be permanent?" Sportacus took in a shaky breath, "Interrupting football games or stealing sports equipment is one thing, but a person's memory… it's their identity Robbie! The ethical implications… what if you'd done it to one of the kids!?"

Oh. So that was it. Robbie stood up indignantly.

"Of course I would never do that to the kids! Who do you TAKE me for?!" 

Sportacus's mouth opened in a silent oh but Robbie continued, not one to be interrupted in his own lair.

"I am ROBBIE ROTTEN, not some cut price villain who orders everything out of a catalogue! That machine had failsafes built in all over the place, the memory loss would only have lasted a day or so tops. And those BRATS may ruin every brilliant scheme I come up with but I do not want to hurt them. It may well have escaped your notice SportaSTUPID, but it's not about them. It's about YOU!"

Sportacus hung his head sadly. Robbie could hardly make out his words.

"You want me to leave, I know." He looked up, blue eyes meeting Robbie's own. "But I don't want to leave Robbie."

Robbie's heartbeat thundered in his ears. This was all too much, he was so tired! He collapsed back into his chair trying to process everything. Something was nagging at the back of his brain.

...it's not as though I don't enjoy getting involved in your games… Robbie sat bolt upright.

"WAIT! Playing along!? Since when?"

Sportacus blushed slightly. "Do you remember when you put me in jail for stealing Bessie's birthday cake?" He walked forward until he was standing by the arm of Robbie's chair and bent down to whisper into his ear. "Right where you belong…" 

He stepped lightly round the back of the chair, Robbie pivoting in his seat trying to keep the elf in view. Sportacus's voice was low, a smirk playing across his face.

"Only. Very. Naughty. Elves…"

Robbie gulped. Ok so maybe this was turning out alright as far as unexpected visits went.  
The moment Sportasexy emerged from behind the wing of the chair Robbie made his move, whipping his hand out with uncharacteristic speed, snatching the hat from his head.

Sportacus squeaked in surprise. How cute, Robbie thought, and ridiculous.  
He leapt to his feet, throwing the hat away over his shoulder and used his free hand to grab Sportacus by the chin.

Sportacus gulped as Robbie's fingers, oh so close to his throat, guided him upwards until he was standing at his full height. Robbie still towered over him, and they were standing close… so close…

Robbie turned the elf's head slightly to the side, letting go of his chin and drinking in the picture before him.

Now that he was close up Robbie could see that Sportacus's hair was two toned. The under layer clinging to the back of his neck was short and a rich brown colour, the ends slightly curved from where they usually peaked out from under the hat. The rest was a swirling bundle of glorious golden curls that, now that they were unrestrained, were falling down across Sportacus's eyes and covering the tips of his ears.

Robbie lifted his hand and gently brushed a wavy strand aside, it was so soft! And there was that pointed elven ear that had occupied so many of his thoughts. It was pale and delicate, nestled safely amongst the gold. 

Sportacus sighed, eyes fluttering closed at the touch.

Robbie tucked the strand behind the ear. There it was. An earring. He hadn't imagined it.   
Just below the pointed tip was a simple silver ring. No not quite a ring - a horseshoe shape with a ball at each end. Set into each silver ball appeared to be a small sparkling gem, blue, like Sportacus's eyes.

He couldn't help himself, Robbie stretched out and ghosted the tips of his fingers over the metal. Sportacus let out a small, breathy moan.

"Sensitive then...?"

Sportacus hummed lightly in agreement, eyes closed contentedly.

Robbie grinned mischievously and tugged gently on the earring.

Sportacus wined, his eyes flying open to reveal rapidly dilating pupils and his lips parting slightly. Robbie thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

"Hmmmmmm, very sensitive I see…" Robbie's voice was low and drawling and full of promise. He pulled their bodies flush together. A low rumble from the elf's chest vibrated through them. Was Sportacus.. purring?

Robbie tangled his hand into Sportacus's hair and drew him into a kiss. 

Maybe his scheme had worked after all.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where the Mature rating comes in.

Sportacus cartwheeled and flipped his way through the streets of Lazytown at lightning speed. The birds sang harmoniously from the trees and flowers sprung out of the ground as he passed.

Robbie Rotten had kissed him!

His heart felt light as a feather, as though a burden had been lifted from him. He felt invincible!

  
  


The centre of Lazytown was pristine, as usual, but if one knew where to look then there was usually evidence of some of Robbie's more elaborate traps.

Sportacus walked on his hands following the faint outline of a hole Robbie had tricked him into a few weeks previously. 

Now that Robbie has kissed me, he thought to himself, we should probably talk about this sort of thing… whatever this is.

Sportacus flipped up the right way. 

I have no idea what his intentions are after all. I don't even know if he wants us to be together. What would that even look like, a hero and a villain? Would he want to stop creating nefarious plans? The kids love Robbie's games! 

Sportacus paused. There was no point in allowing his thoughts to run away with him. This was easily sorted out, he just needed to go and talk to Robbie.

Something fluttered in Sportacus's chest. That sounded like a great idea. Maybe he would even get to kiss him again!

* * *

  
  


As the sun crept lower towards the horizon and the kids had retired to their houses after several rousing games of netball, Sportacus found himself drifting over to Robbie's billboard.

Unusually the top of the hatch was already open when he arrived and when he peered down Sportacus could see Robbie clattering about. Whilst normally he would never dare enter someone's home uninvited, he couldn't help but feel the open hatchway was, on this occasion, an invitation.

Sportacus spiralled down and landed flawlessly in the centre of Robbie Rotton's villainous lair.

"Well hello there Sportasmooch back for more?"

Sportacus smiled, "I couldn't stay away, been thinking about you all day."

Robbie rested his tools down on the bench and strode over to where Sportacus had landed. He grasped Sportacus's shoulders firmly and without hesitation pulled him into a quick kiss.

"Once you've been kissed by a Rotten it can't be forgotten"

Sportacus giggled, standing on his tiptoes to close the gap between them once more. The kiss was longer this time, but slower. When they broke apart Robbie took a step back and looked pointedly at the elf.

"Did you come here just to kiss me or was there something you wanted?"

Sportacus smiled, fighting slightly, unsure of quite what to do with his hands.

"I just wondered… now that we've… now that things have changed. Maybe? Or perhaps things have not changed…" Sportacus sighed, why was this so difficult!?  
"I thought I should ask you, maybe you have an opinion… or a preference maybe. No that's wrong. I just mean… how are things going to… look… between us? Do you know what I mean?"

Robbie raised an eyebrow, "Are you asking if I want you to be my boyfriend? Because the answer is yes. I kinda assumed you wouldn't be the sort to kiss and run away."

Sportacus jumped for joy, which in his case involved three twists and a backwards somersault.

He landed breathlessly, although not from the exercise, and rested his hands on his hips.

"Well then." He looked at Robbie pointedly.

Robbie looked bemused, "Well what?"

"Well are you going to ask me?"

Robbie raised an eyebrow, "So you require something more formal Sportadiva? Very well then. Never say a Rotten can't rise to the challenge."

Robbie closed the gap between him and his soon to be boyfriend and gathered him into his arms, bending forward as though he were dipping Sportacus at the end of a dance. 

"Sportacus … do you have a surname?..." Sportacus shook his head, a blush spreading across his cheeks.  
"Sportacus, hero of lazytown, will you accept the honour of having the most handsome, number one villain Robbie Rotten as your boyfriend?"

Sportacus nodded, feeling quite overcome. He stretched his neck up to meet Robbie's lips with his own in a celebratory peck, before pushing up with his legs to right the pair of them again. 

"That was very romantic Robbie" 

"You just wait Sportaboyfriend, there's more where that comes from!"

Robbie bent down, hooking one arm behind the elf's knees and the other round his waist before hoisting him into the air - bridal style. Sportacus couldn't deny that he was impressed and slightly surprised that Robbie was able to carry him, given his atrocious sugary diet. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck and snuggled his head close into Robbie's chest.

Robbie carried his prize over to his fluffy orange armchair and sat down, arranging Sportacus so that he was curled across his lap with his head on his shoulder. He lifted the stupid hat off the elf's head and threw it away across the lair.

"No hats allowed indoors Mr. Elf!"

"OK Robbie." Sportacus laughed contentedly, "as long as you don't stop your dastardly games for the kids. They love having you as a friend you know."

"I have a lot of great disguise ideas don't worry, although I suppose if we're boyfriends now you won't want me to try and trap you anymore." Robbie stroked a hand through Sportacus's hair absentmindedly.

Sportacus blushed, "Actually, I always rather liked the idea of being at the mercy of the handsome villain."

Robbie looked down, meeting Sportacus's gaze and staring deep into his crystal blue eyes. He raised an eyebrow.

"Is that so?"

Sportacus smirked, "Not that you've been able to keep me caught for long!"

Robbie clutched at his heart in horror. "What? Not even in the cage?"

"Robbie I could lift that with one hand."

Robbie silently considered if dating this cheeky elf would be worth putting up with all of this sass but very quickly decided that it probably was. He hadn't really expected to capture Sportacus anyway, although...

"And what about all the times you had a sugar meltdown, I suppose you were just pretending then too?

Sportacus blushed, "Ah no actually that does work. Sugar makes me lose all my strength and I'm unable to move. I'm not unconscious, I can still sort of sense what is going on around me but I can't really think straight. Not until someone gives me sportscandy!"

Robbie gulped, a twinge of guilt pinging in his chest. "Shit. I'm sorry, that sounds frightening."

Sportacus's blush deepened and he worried his lower lip with his teeth. 

"I guess it would be if I was really in danger. But no one in Lazytown would ever hurt me, and I told you Robbie, I kinda like the idea of being completely at your mercy. Unable to move… unable to do anything about it if you decided to have your wicked way with me."

Robbie couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"You're seriously telling me... that you GET OFF on having a sugar meltdown?" He looked down at the muscular elf, blushing profusely, still curled in his lap.   
"That's quite something sportakink!"

Sportacus shrugged, "It's not like I can be immobilised any other way."

Robbie thought back to all of the research he'd done when he'd first figured out that Sportacus wasn't human. There had been a few historical accounts detailing ways to dispose of elven pests that he'd skipped past, but something was clinging to the back of his memory.

"What about iron?" Robbie ventured cautiously, suspecting that possibly this was a sensitive topic. "Aren't elves usually affected by that?"

Sportacus replied in a level tone. "It's not safe, it burns and leaves horrible scars."

An idea sprung fully formed into Robbie's head and before he could think it through the words came tumbling out of his mouth.

"So what you need is a genius handsome villainous inventor to find a way to make it so that it doesn't burn, but does stop you from wriggling away!"

Sportacus looked up, looking deep into Robbie's eyes. It felt almost as if he could see into the villain's soul. Eventually Sportacus smiled.

"Do you think it's possible?"

Robbie breathed a sigh of relief, glad to be able to turn his attention to an exciting new project and away from potential conversational blunders.

"Anything's possible! If I get it just right it would open up so many possibilities for traps! The brats would never be able to get you out of an iron cage!"

Robbie gave his boyfriend a squeeze, feeling appropriately villainous and definitely not at all sappy. Sportacus sat up, adopting a more serious tone.

"Actually Robbie... I would prefer if we kept it private, if you manage to make something like that." He ran a hand through his golden hair.  
"It would be awful if one of the kids truly needed help and I couldn't break free to save them. Plus," he added as an afterthought, "I don't really want to be thinking about the kids when you have me tied up in your lair."

Robbie scratched his chin. The elf had a point.

"I suppose that makes sense. But think of all the possibilities! I could make chains and padlocks and…"

"...and handcuffs?" Sportacus interrupted, blushing once again.

Robbie grinned his most villainous grin and let out his most spine chilling chuckle.

"Oh yes. I could definitely make some of those."

Robbie leaned over and kissed Sportacus, tangling a hand into his hair. The elf responded enthusiastically, repositioning himself so that he was straddling his boyfriend in the chair.  
Robbie twisted his fingers, searching, until he found the tip of a pointed ear and the cool metal ring stuck through it. He tugged lightly.

Sportacus groaned into his mouth.

Clearly this was going to be a very fun partnership.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the great feedback! There's more to come in this series.
> 
> If you want to find me on tumblr my blog is here: https://fi3fi3.tumblr.com/
> 
> (If anyone ever draws Sportacus with an earring I would love that so much!!)


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